I feel human relations are paradoxical like the hypothetical Schrodinger's Cat. The moment you want to make measurement and poke it you realize its either dead or alive. Maybe its best to let it be, know its there and feel its presence. Why open the box when one of the possibilities is definitely hideous?
Some courageous, curious souls often open the boxes only to find the cat dead and for some lucky souls it comes alive to give company and warmth. But then when is the cat ever real?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
My Daily Walk
For some reason and at times for no reason I have started stepping out everyday for a walk or a bus ride. I like watching life and seeing faces which hide their life history and stories. No, I don't even want to attempt reading minds or talking to strangers but still I like observing and connecting to life...
One day I did not get a seat in the bus and as I stood I felt someone moving closely behind me. I felt disgusted. I turned around with anger and was shocked to see this tall well built tough looking man sobbing and trembling. His body was shaking uncontrollably. He glanced at me for a second and moved away but yet his sobbing continued. I moved away too but I kept glancing at him. He was not answering calls, he didn't care where he was and who was around him and seemed really heartbroken. He answered only one call and said he was on his way and they should wait for him. Probably he had lost someone very close and dear. I looked away and let him have his private moment of grief in the over crowded bus. Sometimes crowd gives us privacy which privacy of home denies.
Yesterday I was again in a bus and this time I was in no mood to glance at life around me. Suddenly a small girl broke my silence and cycle of thoughts. She was traveling with her mother and had no inhibitions and her round big eyes had lots of questions. She asked me, 'Where are you going?' I told her the place. She immediately corrected my pronunciation. Then she again demanded, "What is there in the place where you are going?" Next question was, "Where did you go?" "What was there in the place you went to?" I was getting annoyed but she was so full of joy and laughter that I didn't want to be rude to her. She kept on talking and smiling and I kept answering patiently. Suddenly she asked, "Don't you know how to get angry and show your big eyes to people who trouble you?" I told her, "No". Then she quickly turned to me and said, "Wait, let me teach you". She enacted range of emotions and showed me how to show anger and how to make scary faces to scare people away. In that crowded bus that little angel taught me an important lesson of life.
One day I did not get a seat in the bus and as I stood I felt someone moving closely behind me. I felt disgusted. I turned around with anger and was shocked to see this tall well built tough looking man sobbing and trembling. His body was shaking uncontrollably. He glanced at me for a second and moved away but yet his sobbing continued. I moved away too but I kept glancing at him. He was not answering calls, he didn't care where he was and who was around him and seemed really heartbroken. He answered only one call and said he was on his way and they should wait for him. Probably he had lost someone very close and dear. I looked away and let him have his private moment of grief in the over crowded bus. Sometimes crowd gives us privacy which privacy of home denies.
Yesterday I was again in a bus and this time I was in no mood to glance at life around me. Suddenly a small girl broke my silence and cycle of thoughts. She was traveling with her mother and had no inhibitions and her round big eyes had lots of questions. She asked me, 'Where are you going?' I told her the place. She immediately corrected my pronunciation. Then she again demanded, "What is there in the place where you are going?" Next question was, "Where did you go?" "What was there in the place you went to?" I was getting annoyed but she was so full of joy and laughter that I didn't want to be rude to her. She kept on talking and smiling and I kept answering patiently. Suddenly she asked, "Don't you know how to get angry and show your big eyes to people who trouble you?" I told her, "No". Then she quickly turned to me and said, "Wait, let me teach you". She enacted range of emotions and showed me how to show anger and how to make scary faces to scare people away. In that crowded bus that little angel taught me an important lesson of life.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Haunted Old Mall
Like any other city of the world, Calcutta has undergone change and there are many new swanky shopping malls everywhere. These modern shopping malls have become a rage among young shoppers and why not? They offer best of brands and products at best prices and plus there are food courts, restaurants to hang out.
Any change is good but I feel very sad when I enter old shopping zones of the city which are probably more than hundred years old. The New Market is one such place which has shops selling almost everything including awesome bakery products. The old building with ancient architecture is very compelling but the emptiness there is so haunting. Just other day, couple of years ago it was difficult to step in to New Market during peak shopping seasons.
Yesterday out of pure impulse I walked into another old, once famous a.c market and my immediate urge was to run out of there. It was swanky and clean but very empty. It seemed as though I was the only shopper who had entered the place since morning and the very moment I stepped in all shop keepers starting shouting out loud to get my attention. There was an escalator which was not working, so I decided to take stairs to check out the other floors. But the moment I turned away from escalator it started moving and it took me a while to realize that there was a man sitting there to operate it every time a shopper stepped on it. It came across more as cost cutting measure than energy saving one. It was the same story on the first floor - many small shops and no buyers. Shopkeepers looked desperate to sell but it was scary and I felt like a prey being hounded by many predators.I ran out.
The emptiness, the sudden moment of escalator and voices calling out kept haunting me through the day.
Any change is good but I feel very sad when I enter old shopping zones of the city which are probably more than hundred years old. The New Market is one such place which has shops selling almost everything including awesome bakery products. The old building with ancient architecture is very compelling but the emptiness there is so haunting. Just other day, couple of years ago it was difficult to step in to New Market during peak shopping seasons.
Yesterday out of pure impulse I walked into another old, once famous a.c market and my immediate urge was to run out of there. It was swanky and clean but very empty. It seemed as though I was the only shopper who had entered the place since morning and the very moment I stepped in all shop keepers starting shouting out loud to get my attention. There was an escalator which was not working, so I decided to take stairs to check out the other floors. But the moment I turned away from escalator it started moving and it took me a while to realize that there was a man sitting there to operate it every time a shopper stepped on it. It came across more as cost cutting measure than energy saving one. It was the same story on the first floor - many small shops and no buyers. Shopkeepers looked desperate to sell but it was scary and I felt like a prey being hounded by many predators.I ran out.
The emptiness, the sudden moment of escalator and voices calling out kept haunting me through the day.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Floating in Space
Why is it hard to believe that I am indeed floating in empty space?
We are on a free trip around the sun remember?
Is it only gravity that keeps us glued?
Is only gravity that defines our weight?
I look at the stars in the dark night
To remind myself that dark space around me is empty and not dense
Then why does it seem so dense?
So suffocating?
I struggle to stand out
I struggle to feel special
Its a momentary struggle
Lasting a lifetime only for me
Nameless faceless
I stand glued to this blue planet
As it takes me on a free ride around the sun
We are on a free trip around the sun remember?
Is it only gravity that keeps us glued?
Is only gravity that defines our weight?
I look at the stars in the dark night
To remind myself that dark space around me is empty and not dense
Then why does it seem so dense?
So suffocating?
I struggle to stand out
I struggle to feel special
Its a momentary struggle
Lasting a lifetime only for me
Nameless faceless
I stand glued to this blue planet
As it takes me on a free ride around the sun
Sunday, October 4, 2009
A Lunatic and the Curse
A lunatic
Hurling a stone
Tearing clothes
Eating dirt
Sleeping with dogs
Raging against the world
Mocking it hysterically
Always on the move
Reminds of a curse
Curse of being misunderstood
And abandoned
Yet defying all curses
Lunatic survives
Mocking humanity, sanity
And the sanitized world
Hurling a stone
Tearing clothes
Eating dirt
Sleeping with dogs
Raging against the world
Mocking it hysterically
Always on the move
Reminds of a curse
Curse of being misunderstood
And abandoned
Yet defying all curses
Lunatic survives
Mocking humanity, sanity
And the sanitized world
Paths in the Woods
The paths I never took
they beckon me sometimes
Lost in the woods
I wonder if that path
Which I never explored still exists
It was a wild path
Dark and full of thorns
It had not fooled me
With promises of destination
Lost in the woods
I no longer seek
a way out
But I must find my
Final resting ground
they beckon me sometimes
Lost in the woods
I wonder if that path
Which I never explored still exists
It was a wild path
Dark and full of thorns
It had not fooled me
With promises of destination
Lost in the woods
I no longer seek
a way out
But I must find my
Final resting ground
Monday, January 12, 2009
Chains of Liberation
You ask “Why don’t you dance with joy?”
There have been infinite invisible chains around my feet
I never knew that I was supposed to undo them one by one
I kept them all ‘as gifts’
I waited for some loving hands to undo them
I didn’t know I have to undo them myself
One day you came along
And laughed at me…
You reached down my feet
But ended up adding one more chain
Now I struggle to undo them one by one
Only one of them can’t be undone
It’s the ‘chain of liberation’
Which you gave me as a farewell gift!!!
1999
There have been infinite invisible chains around my feet
I never knew that I was supposed to undo them one by one
I kept them all ‘as gifts’
I waited for some loving hands to undo them
I didn’t know I have to undo them myself
One day you came along
And laughed at me…
You reached down my feet
But ended up adding one more chain
Now I struggle to undo them one by one
Only one of them can’t be undone
It’s the ‘chain of liberation’
Which you gave me as a farewell gift!!!
1999
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